5. But you also have a real reason to go on awesome slides, because your kid needs “help.”
6. You never have to guess how a baby’s feeling, because they wear their emotions on their face.
Like fear, for example.
8. If you want to see a Jawa in your house, all you have to do is dress up your kid.
Or kids, in this instance.
10. Like, you can seriously dress them however the fuck you want and they can’t say shit.
11. When a kid gets excited, it’s like their whole face erupts in a fountain of happiness and it’s contagious.
12. With a kid, Christmas morning is like one long cute overload.
Get ready to die from smiling, y’all.
16. Oh, and you get to steal all the candy they worked so hard for.
17. Even though you’re a grown ass person, you get to play super fun kids’ games.
18. Having a kid means you’ll always have someone to smooch, whether they like it or not.
19. Kids are a great way to break the ice when you’re in an awkward social situation. I mean, look at that face!
People love kids.
21. You basically have a little clone version of yourself to play with at all times.
22. If you’re feeling cold, all you have to do is grab a baby for warmth.
24. When your kid has some epic milestone, like lifting up their own body, it will make you realize how awesome little things are.
Like standing and wiping your own butt, for example.
25. A baby’s head smells like magical unicorn tears.
It’s seriously awesome.
26. And seeing a kid smile is scientifically proven* to melt your heart.
*I did an independent study. Probably.